"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
10/04/2016 at 12:34 • Filed to: Down with the patriarchy!, Jack it good, Use your hands, Going down IS easier, But it's a legitimate how-to video
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"Xyl0c41n3" (i-am-xyl0c41n3)
10/04/2016 at 12:34 • Filed to: Down with the patriarchy!, Jack it good, Use your hands, Going down IS easier, But it's a legitimate how-to video | 15
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Changing a tire is such messy work! It ruins your manicure, and if you get a flat during the summer, you might sweat! Truly not an ideal situation. But, sometimes there isn’t a man around to do it for us, so a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Thankfully, this helpful how-to video shows us how to get it done. Good luck, ladies!
H/t to Lexador for the video.
Jcarr
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 12:41 |
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This is so weird. I was bored yesterday so in search of entertainment I went to YouTube to watch some mundane videos with subtitles on for comic relief (turns out Google has significantly improved it’s auto-subtitle feature). This video was one of the first ones that popped up when I typed in “How to change a tire”.
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Xyl0c41n3
> Jcarr
10/04/2016 at 12:43 |
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It’s pretty hilarious. Next time I need to change a flat, I’ll have to try the “paint me like one of your French girls” pose to better work the jack. I’m sure it’ll give me extra leverage, similar to how a Blipshift sticker adds 5 HP. ;)
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 12:44 |
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Of course, you really ought to have a proper aluminum floor jack (~$100) stashed at the house so if the emergency is near there you don’t have to work with a scissors jack - or worse, a screw/slide jack like Benz used to ship. H8
leicester
> Jcarr
10/04/2016 at 12:48 |
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If you want to give the cc feature a real workout, activate it during any Guy Martin interview, and watch it descend into a fever dream.
yamahog
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/04/2016 at 12:49 |
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REAL WOMEN USE THE WIDOWERMAKER:
SHODDY BOTTLE JACKS
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> yamahog
10/04/2016 at 12:53 |
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Hey, at least shitty bottle jacks don’t have a 2" circular foot and connect to the car with a pin that can rotate - making it almost certain that on unsteady ground the car will lever forward and *then* come crushing down. All in aid of the jack fitting in the spare tire well badly - Benz, really?
Why no, I don’t have strong and very specific opinions on this exact jack. Unpossible.
Mercedes Streeter
> yamahog
10/04/2016 at 13:02 |
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You’re not a real womyn (it’s hard to actually intentionally spell it like that) unless you use hardcore bottle jacks!!! lol FLOOR JACKS?!?!? Come on now, this isn’t amateur hour. xD
(Joke’s on me - someone who doesn’t even have a spare tyre *laugh cries*)
DipodomysDeserti
> Mercedes Streeter
10/04/2016 at 13:05 |
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My Abarth came with a jack, but no spare tire. Made no sense.
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Mercedes Streeter
> DipodomysDeserti
10/04/2016 at 13:08 |
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Fiat when designing the Abarth:
MonkeePuzzle
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:20 |
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A: nice car
B: parking brake light on when she drives off?
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Xyl0c41n3
> MonkeePuzzle
10/04/2016 at 13:23 |
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I don’t know what that dash is supposed to look like, but I think it’s the seat belt light. She’s not buckled up.
Gonemad
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:23 |
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My dad, in a bygone age (70's), managed to “fix” a flat without a spare , right next to a corn field. He removed the tire, filled it with the remnants of the corn plant after the harvest (stover, right?), and shoved the tire back in the rim.
He was stranded for half an hour, before the invention (or at least ubiquity) of cellphones, in a nearly deserted road, so he had all the time of the world to shove that stover in the rim.
It worked pretty well, he ran 20 miles on a corn-filled tire.
Today, we have it too easy.
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Xyl0c41n3
> Mercedes Streeter
10/04/2016 at 13:24 |
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Yeah, I spelled it like that sarcastically, too. Because clearly we social justice warriors don’t need men for anything, amirite? :P
functionoverfashion
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:26 |
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My wife changed a flat on my car at about 8 months pregnant. Good stuff.
Mattbob
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/04/2016 at 13:32 |
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BMW used those too. I’ve used mine a couple times. I would never get under the car with just that thing holding it up. Sketchy as hell.
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Mercedes Streeter
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:37 |
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NEVER!!! Men are the worst! xD How dare they try to be helpful sometimes! lol
Brian, The Life of
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:39 |
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“Ladies, men aren’t always going to be there for us. Like my father, after he met Suzanne.”
I died. I love her snark.
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RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:41 |
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“Change me like one of your French tires”
Milky
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:41 |
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Her smile after “secure and un-budging just like the rigid gender roles of the patriarchy” kilt me.
sonicgabe
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 13:57 |
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Me and the ex-wife:
Her: “Why is the spare tire on? You had a flat? Are you ok? Why didn’t you call me? Did you call AAA? Were you late for work?”
Me: (proudly) “I timed myself. From turning the car off, changing the tire, and starting the car again, I did it in 9 minutes, 35 seconds!”
Her: (stares blankly)
Me and the current wife :
Me: “Do want a hand changing that tire?”
Her: “Already done.”
Me: (inappropriate joke about having something else she can jack)
Her: (stares blankly)
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Xyl0c41n3
> Brian, The Life of
10/04/2016 at 13:57 |
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She’s pretty great.
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Xyl0c41n3
> sonicgabe
10/04/2016 at 13:58 |
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Cool story, bro.
Svend
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 14:24 |
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A friend had a Mk3 Ford Fiesta and she got a flat tyre at 2am on the other city of the city.
She phoned and asked me if I could change it. At 2am I naturally said, “can’t you change it or your friend (she was at a friend’s house)“.
The reply was she didn’t know how and nor did her friend and asked where the spare tyre was and the jack as there was no jack in the boot.
I told her on the Mk3 Fiesta the spare tyre is under the car at the back and the jack is screwed to a piece under the bonnet.
I ran across the city, opened the bonnet, unscrewed the jack, took off the tyre iron, opened the boot, used the tyre iron to undo the bolt in the boot floor to lower the spare tyre and then changed the tyre.
Years later I think if I hadn’t told them where the things were and then gone and changed the tyre, they would still be there scratching their heads.
Mind she was never a car person.
When she picked up her new first car (the Mk3 Fiesta), she came to mine to say she bought a car. I asked what it was and her reply was, ‘a blue one’. I asked what make, her reply, ‘I think it’s a Ford’. I asked was it big or small, she said, ‘small’. I asked if it was a Fiesta or an Escort, she said, ‘I think it’s a Fiesta’. Doh.
TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
> Brian, The Life of
10/04/2016 at 14:28 |
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Dude, the wit is so dry I need something to wash it down... love it.
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TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 14:30 |
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I hate those goddamn scissor jacks, only one person came up with that design...
Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
> Mercedes Streeter
10/04/2016 at 14:39 |
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Fiat when designing the Abarth Italians when designing anything
FTFY
crowmolly
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/04/2016 at 14:48 |
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You sound like me with bumper jacks.
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sonicgabe
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 16:25 |
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Lady SonicGabe just got home and enjoyed the video and my comment.
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Xyl0c41n3
> sonicgabe
10/04/2016 at 16:28 |
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Cooler story, bro.
Dusty Ventures
> Brian, The Life of
10/04/2016 at 22:28 |
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The long pause and distant stare after she said that line was perfection
gmporschenut also a fan of hondas
> Xyl0c41n3
10/04/2016 at 22:37 |
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sarcastic enough to stick with viewers.
Basic automobile mechanical aptitude should be part of getting a license. Also being able to change a tire should be required to get and maintain a license.